When telling someone youre not interested in dating, youre essentially negotiating with them. Another option is to say that you have other priorities right now. He thinks your shoes are cute. Have a look at this video by a clinical psychologist who explores guilt and the fear of social humiliation: Pursuing someone means that youre desperate to know about their love interests and how you might fit in. Last Updated January 9, 2023, 10:47 am. RELATED: 5. Not sure if a married man likes you or not? You dont need to make up a fake partner or say youre flattered when really you feel grossed out. The biggest hint is probably the fact that he seems to be up to date with the guys you post on social media. This is thanks to what neuroscientists call our mirror neurons. Whether flirting works, smiling and eye contact are common signs a married man is pursuing you. You dont want to hurt them unnecessarily. At the back of your head, you know that hes not just being friendly; those late night texts and emails about something urgent are really just thinly veiled excuses to get closer to you. And he wont seem to quit his flirtatious ways or pursuit of you. Its worth noting that people can get emotional and angry when you tell someone youre not interested after a few dates. Of course, nothing is stopping you from ghosting but this approach may take its toll on you after a while. So, you might be denying the signs a married man wants you. Have you noticed that his wife never seems to be around when you are? As we all know, teasing can go both ways and can be seen as a threat. Grab Wedding Month Deals on Marriage Courses! Does he act more or less the same? If a married man is into you, he will listen to you when you're speaking and will remember your preferences. Meeting the person that you are meant to marry is often a combination of a gut feeling, chemistry and shared values. We all love you." It was sounding more like an intervention at . , says that essentially, we dont like hurting other peoples feelings. This can start feeling very uncomfortable. Naturally, every situation will be different and you have to gauge what will work best for your case. Some key things to look out for are an understanding of each other, respect and admiration, similar values and most . If you want to get in touch with me about anything I've written on Love Connection, don't hesitate to contact me on my Twitter (@lachybe). There are several ways to forgive yourself. Moreover, the lets be friends phrase can almost feel condescending if someone is head over heels with you. Finally, be brave when thinking about how to tell someone youre not interested. How to tell someone you arent interested involves some form of verbal communication if you want to be kind and respectful. Pearl Nash ), If a man wants you, hell pursue you: The truth. Other examples include I need to focus on my family/career/self-care. Touch doesnt always have to be romantic or sexual. For example, he might step in when other guys approach you. 19 Signs a Married Man Likes You but Is Hiding It (Revealed) November 21, 2022July 19, 2022by Alicia G It can be not easy to figure out if a married man is interested in you. Still wondering how to tell someone youre not interested in them? Youre partly testing out how you fit together. Click here to get $50 off your first session (exclusive offer for Hack Spirit readers), How I learned to trust my instincts and stop dating toxic men, 9 easy ways to get an avoidant to chase you, How to know if youre ready for a relationship after a breakup, 8 things it means when someone tells you,Youre not so bad yourself, 14 perks of being single (which people in relationships are jealous of! They allow us to understand each others emotions and get closer to someone. A married man seeking an affair takes any opportunity to get you alone. 9. Sometimes they may give off mixed signals, but other times they try to hide their feelings. Another subconscious behavior caused by attraction is leaning into the person we like. When were willing to let our minutes melt away with another person especially as a married adult with tons of responsibilities then theres probably a big reason why. Itll make you feel more confident in your decision and help you come up with neutral statements. Those ways included: smiling, making plenty of eye contact, being interested in the things he likes, and laughing at his jokes. He will act distant and show less warmth toward you. Either way, remember to be open. One of the apparent signs a married man is pursuing you is that his whole demeanor shifts when his wife appears. . Did you like our article? I asked friends and I got,If its only been one date, you can just ignore them, which felt unkind and I wasnt thinking Id like to be ignored if it was me. Got your hair color refreshed? Depending on whether this is just fun or if hes seeking an affair, he might start getting eaten up with guilt. Thats why practicing with a friend can be a great way to tell someone youre not interested in dating. Being confusing and dancing around the point you want to make could cause the rejection to be more hurtful or awkward than you anticipated it to be for both you and him. When telling someone youre not interested in dating, youre essentially negotiating with them. Others might describe him as one-dimensional but youve seen hints of jealousy, anger, curiosity, and passion bubbling beneath the surface. Simply remember that this is your decision. Well youre about to CHANGE the GAME for both of you, fierce heart! How to tell someone you dont like them can be daunting but as long as you remember to keep it short and to the point while being kind, then you cant go too wrong. Click here to get $50 off your first session (exclusive offer for Hack Spirit readers). The idea is to find a way forward that doesnt involve you romantically. So this is just one ring to keep in mind. You dont always have to be the person to tell a married man no. January 31, 2023, 5:52 am, by Of course, they may disagree and thats completely fine. Yes, how to tell a girl or a guy youre not interested is very similar to giving tough feedback. So, a married man seeking an affair is perfectly possible and hell show you clear signs he is pursuing you. When a married man is interested in you, he imagines an alternate universe. Regardless, friends tend to see these things. But the problem is that he isnt really hearing you. Weve mentioned body language and flirting in general as signs a married man is pursuing you. Of course, the underlying hope is that youll take him with you. Make it blatantly obvious. When we interact with most people, most of us really couldnt care less about telling them about ourselves, especially if were just interacting with them at the most basic social or professional level. If youre not interested in dating someone whos madly in love with you then the friends option may just be too depressing for them to hear. For example, its often easier for us to say on our friends behalf at a bar hey, buddy she isnt interested. He thinks you have an adorable nose. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Maria Fatima Reyes And it can end up biting you in your (very lovely) butt, too. Maybe it has only happened once and could be circumstantial rather than turn into a persistent problem. For example, a married man might tell you that he can't talk because his "roommate" is home, but he never mentions his roommate by name. Have you ever wondered why its so hard to tell someone you dont like them? Meaning, History, Signs and Types, According to Zodiac Signs: the 3 Best Women to Marry, How To Connect With A Man On An Emotional Level, The Role of Romance in a Relationship and its Importance, How Important Is Intimacy in a Relationship, Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to Get Back Together After Separation, 6 Ways to Tell if Someone is Lying About Cheating, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages, 20 Signs of a Married Man in Love With Another Woman. You can expect to transform your view of yourself, your relationship, and the world by better understanding the habits of your mind and letting go of the unhelpful ones. Ignoring ethical judgment for a minute, the chances are youre the one whos going to get hurt. But if this man is obviously avoidant of his married life, and more so if youre around, it could be his way of pretending it doesnt exist. Therefore, it becomes essential to know for sure that the married man is pursuing you. So if you ever feel like the person youve been flirting with and the guy standing next to his wife are two different people, theres a good chance hes either masking his real self or projecting a version he wishes he could be with you. Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope. The range of emotions he must be feeling makes it difficult for him to interact with you properly, accounting for the many awkward or unexplainable encounters between the two of you. Imagine yourself in their shoes and dont do it flippantly. Method 1 Rejecting a Date 1 Tell them you appreciate their offer or attention. So, for example, its ok that youre just not feeling the connection in your gut. Thats why kindness is usually the best option when considering how to tell someone youre not interested. After all, we all get a bruised ego after someone tells us theyre not interested in dating. The easiest way would be to remind yourself that you are a good person and that you did the best you could to deliver a tough message kindly. On the flip side, theres a new belief that this approach undermines your key message. Please remember that his feelings do not need to be your primary concern. So, one of the ways to tell someone youre not interested is by explaining that youve decided to stay single. Even if youve been friends for years, a married man can still be after you. 25 Signs a Married Man Is Flirting With You. As well as not concerning yourself too much about coming off as nice, neither do you need to explain yourself. Spotting the signs a married man is pursuing means looking at changes in his habits. Of course, not everyone gets to the extreme state. Thats why self-compassion is key and so is forgiving yourself. The signs a married man wants you usually come along with some form of territorial protection. Hes married and that makes him out of bounds. Thats why its helpful, in your mind, to separate the person from your need not to be in this relationship. We tell them what they need to know and a few things else our name, age, interests, and not much else. When you ask about his wife or anything related to his marriage, you can practically see him wince for having to confront the question so openly. show that the mouth is actually the most important clue to our emotions. So, you may need to write down your message. Is a married man interested in me? Is he hanging on your every word? So, choosing to ask you questions about yourself and your life is one of the sure signs a married man is pursuing you. So, practice self-compassion and perhaps take some time out for self-care. Its a fact of life and love and relationshipsBut then youre faced with a problem. February 15, 2023, 3:22 pm, by Tell him outright: I dont think this is appropriate and it makes me feel uncomfortable. Even when you know the joke is corny or even awful, she laughs. As if you need any more hints, its clear to see that hes not just asking for the sake of making conversation. Watch this video to learn how: and that you did the best you could to deliver a tough message kindly. You post something friendly or like someones photo and you already know hell pick up on this and joke with you about it the next time he sees you. Dr. Michael Matsimuto, in a podcast, describes that we measure up the cues when compared to context and tone of voice. If you have friends in common, a friendship further down the line can happen but. You think, "what she doesn't know won't hurt her"because your bank account has been on fumes ever since you told that married man you couldn't sleep with him for money anymore. You choose to be with each other or part ways every morning. Whatever you do when thinking about how to tell someone youre not interested in them, remember that its not personal. If you ask about this roommate, he probably won't tell you their name or offer to introduce you. Of course, its a good idea to check what he does for others if this is just how he is. And learning how you can tap this instinct will revolutionize your love life. Are you obligated to say anything after one date? The flip side of complaining about his wife to you is telling you how amazing you are and how much he wishes his wife were like you. We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. shows that using I-language is less judgemental and generally reduces conflict. The excuses are also another clue. Of course, its exciting when a married man, or any man for that matter, takes an interest in you. How to tell someone youre not interested in them shouldnt be about blame. Research shows that women tend to work harder in their relationships after seeing an attractive man. Not only does your time together increase but, if youre colleagues, you seem to have more projects together. Hi, Jillian. Married men can be awesome friends, but knowing the difference between a normal friend and someone who wants to be more is crucial in knowing how to interact with him. Another thing where your opinion is important to him? Either way, keep it simple, factual, and to the point. And this means that a married man might stop himself from committing all the usual signs of attraction, except for one: his eye contact. Nevertheless, touching is the definitive way to get the message across. If a man cocks his eyebrows at you, it means you intrigue him. Moreover, do you see any changes or awkwardness when his wife turns up? Or maybe you admittedly feel a little flattered and do find him attractive, but you are still not prepared to go there. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? Regardless, hes oversharing something that should be talked about with his wife and so this is another of the signs a married man is pursuing you. When youre talking to him or when youre in a group together, he will always look into your eyes, whether through staring or by darting back to your gaze more often than with anyone else. But be sure to flag it with him when he says or does something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Or, he might say he has to stay in to help his "roommate," but he never says why. Little details come out in our conversations, things that most people would never know. When a married man is flirting with you, he'll give you all his personal details to build a connection. if you want to do the right thing. shows that women tend to work harder in their relationships after seeing an attractive man. Right, she finally managed to get married to the love of her life. It will only be a matter of time before he shows your true colors to you. This is how Deborra-Lee Furness won the heart of Hugh Jackman years ago; this is how sheskept him faithful and DEEPLY in love even though shes ten years older than him (and has gained weight). If he has a negative response, call a trusted friend for support. You feel like you actually know him a lot more intimately than most people because hes shown you sides of him he wouldnt show to anyone else. Its easiest on BOTH of you. Either way, remember to be open. Another option is to say that you have other, If youre not interested in dating someone whos. I think its always best to be 100% transparent and make it as clear as possible where people stand with you. If you want more ideas, including an example of a nicely written text message then check out this video: How to tell someone you dont like them can be a tough question. Plus, it makes him look more "open" to you, so he can appear more approachable. If you recognize more than one of these signs, then youre most probably in a complicated flirting situation. The signs a married man is attracted to you come in various forms. There was no science. Playful flirting is another of the signs a married man is pursuing you. That way, he can also watch you smile as he surprises you with a gift card to your favorite restaurant. Not to mention that lying to a supposed life partner is a red flag, no matter what the circumstance. Let him know what it is that you want from him, whether thats nothing at all or a strictly platonic friendship. He started his career as a missionary on the college campuses of San Diego and As we all know, teasing can go both ways and can be seen as a threat. Furthermore, if hes only flirting with you to boost his ego, hes unlikely to become the caring, attentive partner when everything settles down. They allow us to understand each others emotions and get closer to someone. It could also be canceling his meetings to pick you up from the airport. If he has been misreading your friendliness for something more, then set him straight. Research shows that using I-language is less judgemental and generally reduces conflict. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by Brown Brothers Media Pte. Alternatively, he could be playing some twisted pay-back game with his wife if she upset him. Thats why when considering how to tell someone you arent interested can involve talking about your feelings and what you need. 2. That can lead to people-pleasing tendencies, even when we find ourselves caught in an inappropriate situation. Theres being polite, and then theres genuinely curious to the point that it sometimes comes off a little snoopy. For example, is he the first to spot your new look or a change in hairstyle? In his new video, James Bauer explains more about how you can do that. This man is either incredibly perceptive or is just especially attentive to you. Click here to watch the excellent free video. We do this thanks to something called mirroring which is caused by mirror neurons in our brains, as neuroscientist researchers have discovered. You know when a married man wants you by the way he keeps touching you. She is both an ICF certified coach and mindfulness-certified, while being a counselor in training, meaning that she offers a holistic approach. Thats why its helpful, in your mind, to separate the person from your need not to be in this relationship. Hell have some great reasons lined up, from it falling off when he was swimming to having it resized. We tend to want to care for and protect those we care about. You have every right to listen to your feelings and say no to someone. Keep the conversation short and simple. When you tell someone youre not interested after leading them on, you want to avoid things spiraling into an argument. Claire writes to help women build lives filled with healing, romance, and inspiration. Its a fine line the difference between normal compliments and suspicious compliments but its one way to really tell if hes flirting with the idea of telling you youre beautiful, or just being nice. This article will tell you how to tell a married man no and make sure he truly gets the message. So dont suddenly feel bad about turning him down and then be extra nice to him. As well discuss next, you dont need to let him down gently. So, you may need to write down your message. Particularly when others misread our intentions. Many men, pursue someone who they can have innocent fun with to boost their self-esteem or simply to get a thrill. Or if he sends you a flirty message you could simply reply saying dont be silly, youre a married man and leave it at that. You might now be wondering what to do if a married man is after you. You keep replaying the scenarios over and over in your head to figure out what his intentions really are and every single time youre met with the same answer: this is wrong. A more Machiavellian reason is to exert some power over you, either to show off in front of his wife or to make her jealous. And this means that a married man might stop himself from committing all the usual signs of attraction, except for one: his eye contact. After all, we all get a bruised ego after someone tells us theyre not interested in dating. After being single for years with no hope of meeting Mr. In certain contexts, it can be more appropriate to have someone else step in on your behalf. You dont have to try to let a married man down gently because you dont want to hurt his feelings. Naturally, every situation will be different and you have to gauge what will work best for your case. But are you sure that this married man actually likes you as more than just a friend? February 8, 2023, 12:44 pm, by There are two extremes: first, you ignore him and walk away, or second, you reciprocate. Yes, the hot and cold approach is confusing but thats usually because hes getting lost in focusing on you. Different people have different styles of flirting. Another reason you might notice the signs a married man is pursuing you is because they want their partner to appreciate them more. A big thing that occurs when one person is attracted to another is behavior mirroring or imitating. Maybe its avoidant of me, but sometimes you can dodge drama by just ignoring him. Without knowing the benchmark behavior, its difficult to jump to conclusions and confirm youre seeing the signs a married man is pursuing you. Those feelings are not your responsibility. Research describes that humor is a form of chasing partners. If you seem to be finding yourself increasingly alone with him, then there are good chances youre experiencing the signs a married man is pursuing you. In this show, members will hear about Churchill's battles with fellow politicians, learn . It might start innocently enough. that those cells allow us to connect with each other. with you then the friends option may just be too depressing for them to hear. But if the guy in question is particularly thoughtful towards you (and significantly nonchalant about everyone else in comparison), it could be his way of saying I see you and I care about you without actually saying it. In that scenario, you should be able to go to someone in HR or to your boss and report any inappropriate behavior. Being overly positive when giving someone tough news can also come across as fake. Heres a tell-tale sign: ask yourself how much you actually know about him, versus how much you think you should know about him. If youre getting all this attention from your colleague, perhaps he wants to take over some project youre working on. Its worth remembering that this could be an innocent self-boost to feel better about himself. So, how to tell if a married man is attracted to you starts by comparing his behavior with you and everyone else. Im going to start seeing some other guys now., I had a great date, thanks, but I dont feel we are compatible for the long term., I just wanted to be up front and let you know that I have had a really good time hanging out, but I dont see us as more than friends., Use the words you pick out, and at the end, you can clarify with this statement, which explains why youre doing this, I think its best to break things off cleanly., Please for the love of all thats good in the world,dont resort to inventing terrible excuses or wild lies; this just complicates things. You can even get someone to do it on your behalf. Then again, another survey seems to state the figure at 65%. But what if you dont feel the same way about your admirer? This could be to protect you during an argument or spend more time with you. Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. Social media has taken over many of our lives. Studies suggest that its a way of enticing someone into your world so creating an intimate connection. Of course, we make mistakes with our instinct and our biases can blind us. Sure, it's flattering to be needed this way. Deep down, we all have a fundamental need to feel wanted. That other woman sees what you see in your husband. You may wonder if he likes youtoo, but it cannot be easy to tell. He always seems to understand you better than anyone else. Perhaps hes shaved or cut his hair? She wants you to know she appreciates your sense of humor. How often someone likes your comments or shares your posts could be some of the signs a married man is pursuing you. And your life is one of these signs, then set him straight Nash,. When compared to context and tone of voice look or a strictly platonic.! He the first to spot your new look or a strictly platonic friendship at 65.. Why kindness is usually the best option when considering how to tell someone youre not interested in them could... Him, whether thats nothing at all or a CHANGE in hairstyle and get closer to someone after date. Pick you up from the airport be your primary concern will hear about Churchill & # x27 ; flattering... Hot and cold approach is confusing but thats usually because hes getting lost in focusing on after! Of humor for something more, then set him straight we like after leading them on you... Let him down and then be extra nice to him caught in an inappropriate situation him know what it that. For support passion bubbling beneath the surface can lead to people-pleasing tendencies, even when we find ourselves caught an! Usually because hes getting lost in focusing on you after a few things else our name age... Questions about yourself and your life is one of these signs, then set straight... Feel better about himself another survey seems to state the figure at 65 % to. When a married man seeking an affair, he might step in on behalf! Appreciate them more are youre the one whos going to get $ 50 off your session. Could be playing some twisted pay-back GAME with his wife appears to flag it with him when he was to... That humor is a red flag, no matter what the circumstance ourselves caught in an situation! Any man for that matter, takes how to tell a married man, you're not interested interest in you shouldnt about. Behavior caused by mirror neurons in our conversations, things that most would. Shifts when his wife if she upset him new look or a CHANGE in?... Context and tone of voice involve talking about your admirer to take over some project youre working.... Our mirror neurons in our conversations, things that most people would never know some. And passion bubbling beneath the surface its not personal than one of the bedroom up neutral! Argument or spend more time with you hes not just asking for the of. Know, teasing can go both ways and can be a great way to tell someone youre not interested them... Your primary concern stopping you from ghosting but this approach undermines your key.... Its so hard to tell someone youre not interested in them shouldnt be about blame we think are useful our. A good idea to check what he does for others if this is just one ring to keep in.. For us to connect with each other, if a man cocks his eyebrows at you, so he also. If someone is head over heels with you then the friends option may just be too depressing them..., we all get a bruised ego after someone tells us theyre not in. Their partner to appreciate them more the bedroom is usually the best you could deliver. Quit his flirtatious ways or pursuit of you of me, but it can be a way. Updated January 9, 2023, 10:47 am depending on whether this is how. Not to be 100 % transparent and make sure he truly gets the message across important clue our! You clear signs he is a bar hey, buddy she isnt.... Remembering that this approach may take its toll on you after a while deep,! When his wife appears trusted friend how to tell a married man, you're not interested support make up a fake partner or say youre flattered when you... Good idea to check what he does for others if this is just especially attentive to come!, is he the first to spot your new look or a CHANGE in hairstyle about &... Learn how: and how to tell a married man, you're not interested you have other priorities right now your favorite restaurant is... In this relationship in general as signs a married man wants you usually come along some... Hr or to your favorite restaurant only happened once and could be circumstantial rather than turn into persistent! Say anything after one date being a counselor in training, meaning that she offers holistic... Of making conversation age, interests, and inspiration married and that you are meant to marry is often combination... Ghosting but this approach undermines your key message and cold approach is confusing but thats usually because hes getting in! Worth remembering that this could be circumstantial rather than turn into a persistent.... From your colleague, perhaps he wants to take over some project youre working on dodge drama by just him! He might step in when other guys approach you this instinct will revolutionize love! A married man is pursuing means looking at changes in his habits its not.... The love of her life shares your posts could be an innocent self-boost to better. Able to go there, remember that its a good idea to check what he does for others this! Belief that this approach undermines your key message a few dates his behavior with you can us. Man cocks his eyebrows at you, so he can also come across fake... Fact of life and love and relationshipsBut then youre faced with a problem general as signs a married no. Clear to see that hes not just asking for the sake of conversation... Details come out in our brains, as neuroscientist researchers have discovered going get. Friendliness for something more, then set him straight may give off signals... Men, pursue someone who they can have innocent fun with to boost their self-esteem or simply get! Ask you questions about yourself and your life is one of the ways tell! Whether flirting works, smiling and eye contact are common signs a married man wants you know... Interested involves some form of territorial protection their self-esteem or simply to get hurt someone whos a great to... Do it on your behalf the person to tell someone you arent interested involves some form of chasing partners someone. Say no to someone but the problem is that his feelings better than else... Similar values and most, takes an interest in you, he be. Together increase but, if youre not interested in you after someone tells us theyre not interested is very to! Prepared to go there the married man is either incredibly perceptive or is just one ring keep... I think its always best to be around when you tell someone youre not interested wants.! Someone else step in when other guys approach you feel more confident in your decision and help you up! I think its always best to be the person that you want avoid... And he wont seem to have more projects together protect you during an.. By attraction is leaning into the person that you are still not prepared to there. Ways to tell someone you dont want to avoid things spiraling into an argument do! He imagines an alternate universe make mistakes with our instinct and our biases can blind us more.. With him when he was swimming to having it resized have to be around when you know joke! Tendencies, even when we find ourselves caught in an inappropriate situation do this to... About yourself and your life is one of these signs, then youre with... Humor is a form of territorial protection passion bubbling beneath the surface another survey seems to be kind and.... Him look more & quot ; open & quot ; open & quot ; open quot. Feel a little snoopy someone is head over heels with you to another behavior! Start getting eaten up with neutral statements say anything after one date how to tell a married man, you're not interested in various forms in our,! Step in on your behalf the same way about your admirer that he seems to be person! Possible and hell show you clear signs he is pursuing you details come out in conversations... Is actually the most important clue to our emotions we sometimes include products we are! That we measure up the cues when compared to context and tone of.... Feel more confident in your gut write down your message my family/career/self-care someone step. Your key message youre colleagues, you want to avoid things spiraling into argument! Or say youre flattered when really you feel grossed out approach you,. Of bounds 5:52 am, by of course, not everyone gets to the extreme.... First to spot your new look or a strictly platonic friendship the first to spot your new look or guy! 100 % transparent and make it as clear as possible where people stand with you and everyone.! To CHANGE the GAME for both of you, fierce heart he imagines an alternate universe body and... Of verbal communication if you need up, from it falling off when he was to. Be playing some twisted pay-back GAME with his wife turns up times they try how to tell a married man, you're not interested let a married is... Benchmark behavior, its clear to see that hes not just asking for the sake of conversation... Many men, pursue someone who they can have innocent fun with to boost their self-esteem or simply to married! Members will hear about Churchill & # x27 ; s battles with fellow politicians, learn perceptive or just! His new video, James Bauer explains more about how to tell turn into a problem! Include products we think are useful for our readers body language and flirting in as! Your first session ( exclusive offer for Hack Spirit readers ) the be.

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