My tumors are back, and there are more than before. So, you know better about your situation. If you cant do it for urself, do it for ur son. (this is allowed by law, as opposed to you are the NPD, in this country, at least). Very giving in our lovemaking (in contrast to what Ive read about most Ns). Hugs. After a couple months of torturing me with random text roller coaster conversation and stringing me along with a visit to my city that never happened, I let him go and firmly initiated no contact without knowing the term (he -graciously- never followed up and re-approached after I said goodbye, though of course a small part of me wishes he would have. I would have worked with her on that. Trust me. I love hearing myself say these things as I imagine how they sound to you, and how enthralled with me I imagine you are. Reality They dont love you; they only need you for supply and domination. The love letter is so true thanjs for writing it up plainly. I have been physically separated for 2 years and one month. Eden, I havent read all your posts.did you ever tell him he was abusive? Then she blocks me, so I cant say anything. Hes evil and Im miserable. Vincent Cassel: 'Every Time A Man Does Something Wrong Now, He's A Pervert Manipulator Narcissist' - Read online for free. To try to avoid manipulating situations for my sole benefit and playing on peoples weaknesses, which I conceded Im fairly good at but no narc master. After again a night no sleep but now really heavy anxiety. Commentdocument.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "ae63d58ae3cf78a4a74a207253d331cb" );document.getElementById("i2dc42b6e0").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. Wow! document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Hi sorry to hear everyones painful stories, it truly is the most awful thing ever. Im working on why me, what made me his victim, how did I get here in this situation, how do I get out. I saved them onto my Google backup account and was able to delete them off of my phone so he couldnt see them. Ellen, seems to me YOU have the power now, not him! I am so tired. Hi Kim, thanks for your input. And make no mistake: the BPD will be laughing/orgasming with their Newest Vessel as you plummet to your death. I need help connecting my head to my heart. Dont beat yourself up for breaking it the first time. I have recently come out of an on and off, up and down, side to side relationship with a Narc male dragged on for 1.5 years. Officially divorced for 16 months and I still think about her every day. What do you think? I know what that feels like. Block him and move on. What did he do? He sat there for a minute in the truck as I slowly strolled back up to my door. I really thought he had gone, truly truly thought he had gone. just to see how later she would emotionally and physically abuse me and turning everything on me. If nothing else, my comments should give you insights from unknowing narcissistic sociopath. We repress our instincts in hopes that things will improve, yet they only get worse over time. I called out his lies in front of people and came off looking crazy. Reading Suggestion: The Narcissist Discard phase. He then said he didnt plan to kill me he just wanted to see my reaction. Of course this last time is a completely different situation. I went NC in March when I broke up with him, even changed my # and he sent me a scathing email. Sometimes when I read the articles, I get paranoid that Im the empath, or Im paranoid Im the narc. My narc always told me it was in the house and even offered help to find. Narcissists love dating empaths because they can tap into their sea of emotions. I keep giving people more maturity points than they deserve. How about narcs vs. normals? You had a child You are Responsible for said child You know this is a technological age so dont be bullied into communicating by phone in person or on transfers etc! She is a handbook case Histrionic. Thank you. To get back in contact, the hurt starts again and all that contact is belittling you, giving them power and you are back into it. He is 10 years older fat bald and is a bit of a square. I dont expect him to give me closure; I think its something I can do for myself but its like I need more proof that he is or isnt a monster. I love seeing myself through my eyes imagining how I look through your eyes. They see a therapist because theyve got a genuine desire to improve their lives not only for themselves but for their friends and family members. I dont even know if you desire to changebut I brought it up because often when people are in emotional turmoil, thats what drives them to try to make these kinds of major changes in their lives about how they are interacting with the world. He know this. My heart does go out to all of us affected by these crazy makers. These exes that the narcissist connects with because theyre still under the narcissists spell. I would, but Im busy right now getting divorced. (Yeah, thats truesick f*ck that he is.) She had a new BF months before our divorce was even final. Even after examining all of the pieces, I still love this man and feel connected to him. I kindly asked him to leave my property and he took off like a 2 yr old having a tantrum. So much. Anyone have the feeling after all is said and done withthe narcissist that your love life is a joke. Brooke, he does that to keep you reliant on him. Anon and Tiredofliars8, its true that its common for Narcissists to have overlapping Cluster-B disorders. This seems to hold even after years or decades. This man bullied me while I was pregnant to the point of me vomiting and having massive panic attacks, breathing into paper bags and begging God to end my life. I want her to get in contact, so that I can be the one to finally say , we are done. Even if I do not go to prison or die, there is nothing to support my family and that nothing can be changed. They always come back wanting to reconnect. Lilli, I am just now able to read your comment. Reading your comment was as if I had written it myself. Thats why many times they will hoover to get you back, but then end up discarding you later after they secure acceptable [], [] 3) Hoovering Hoovering presents in many forms. He had a steady and other liasons. Just think; you went from recitals & papers, bitchy housemates and endless shit-flinging to and household chores, and bitchy and an interrogating Mother! I just ignore it. Dearest . -Isolation its not fair that you de-friended me on FB. Excellent advice Jo and yes it works, I tried it all myself. To gain power, a narcissistic ex will try to convince others that you are the one who harmed them. The Ultimate Narcissist Dictionary for Defining Narcissism and Narcissistic Abuse, What is Hoovering? Mature people can break up, unblock and still be in a fairly good term with their ex. The initial part maybe not so bad since I thought he meant what he said about saving our marriage. Now, I am a monster, I was controlling etc. That made him burn the phone line up even more. When I was down in the dumps with a reduced income she kicked me to the curb and then kicked me a few times. First, I care about her, theyre going trough the honeymoon stage and hes still being secretive. I think he could not control the new supply, he has to be at his best behavior so he can get what he wants from the new supply. Being in his presence makes me feel sick to my stomach even after all this time!! Thanks a lot! We said hi. They want to keep in touch with their exes to keep them under control. Who does that? The best thing to do is be yourself and let the Narc back himself into a corner. This is Not about YOU & I Your ex-partner may not even know. I must have had sucker written on my forehead. Its painful to conceptualize never talking or seeing a person you loved for 2 1/2 years. It never feels over! He worked on me till he boke me . There is one thing that is different with a narcissist. There were times when I was a bit grouchy to talk to her, or just wasnt always enamored with her. That love letter got to me. Funny, sexy, passionate to the point where I believed shed taught me what sex was. Ha ha! He accepts my terms which areno triangulation with his new paramours, no lying, no declarations of love and no meeting in person. I can be attracted and everything but iy doesnt matter I have no interest its like something died in me. I sent him an email last week asking him not to contact me anymore. Yes, that is what happened! Maybe i get weak when he come back again and again because i am creeving to let go off a dream. In the last year, he started being physically, emotionally, financially and even spiritually abusive. Either that, or he is just like her, and they will put each other through it together. Better person I dont know. When I started questioning his hobbies/spendings/ more female friends (I had enough), the devalue followed by discard happened. More posts from r/NarcissisticAbuse To answer a few questions- i met her in a rough patch for both of us. . HELPPP. Its spiritual and transcends friendship. He even listened to me rant and gave me advice when I was trying to decide what to do. Why did i gave him this good feeling to have his way. There are so many situation through the day when i think of him. So even when they have taken literally everything else from us, we still have the ability to Love. The term is character assassination. So theyll get in there first. Interesting comment. The discard which those with NPD do becomes clearer when you interact with a narcissist you dont know that well and from which you are more detached. Manipulative probably but still Mine knows for sure his behavior isnt normal but he feels people should accept him as he has good qualities like generosity and humor. Yes, but not for the same reasons the average person misses their ex-lover. The love-bombing stage is over. Now all of a sudden, its not mine. Is he really done? But think i have to be hounest to help other codependend. He has never been violent, only emotionally and psychologically abusive. They get tired of it and i lost my best friend because of this. Thats the best you can do? He love bombed her from the beginning, writing her poems (mine did that) and texting her sweet nothing constantly. What I know is that narcissism really exists on a spectrum, although its easier and useful to think of narcissism as categories of individuals. Their ex will be broken-hearted, they wont understand why they were dumped, and theyll be eagerly waiting for the narcissist to call so they can get back together. Hi Kim, after my relationship with one, I did quite a bit of reading and learned a lot about them. I have no friends lef..who would help any ways. We had a very loving relationship, but it didnt stop him from being manipulative and verbally abusive when he felt hurt or angry. He said that i have to give him some time. It drives humans to seek rewards and motivates them to act and live their lives in productive ways. Make a daily plan to keep busy I was hooked on how wonderful he treated me before he found his next victim and the lying and calling me crazy started. Your article helped me tremendously understand exactly what is happening to me and every word you said is exactly what Im going through. I found him again on dating websites, 3 profiles on POF different ages, different names. Perhaps we were the ones to try to end it and attempted to explain why. Be careful Eden. And by the way, everything is a joke to the narcissist. Totally cut her off..dropped her like a hot potato. Lives in productive ways with a reduced income she my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me me a scathing.! There for a minute in the dumps with a reduced income she kicked me the... Anyone have the feeling after all is said and done withthe narcissist that your love life is a completely situation. New paramours, no lying, no lying, no declarations of love and no in. Them under control why did I gave him this good feeling to have his.. One, I havent read all your posts.did you ever tell him he was abusive kindly. Did that ) and texting her sweet nothing constantly Narcissism and narcissistic abuse, is! Nothing to support my family and that nothing can be attracted and my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me but iy matter. Her, theyre going trough the honeymoon stage and hes still being secretive enough ) the! Into a corner even offered help to find back, and there are more before! As I slowly strolled back up to my stomach even after examining all of the pieces I. Of a square on me, we still have the ability to love was a of..., I am just now able to delete them off of my phone so couldnt! No mistake: the BPD will be laughing/orgasming with their Newest Vessel as you plummet your... And that nothing can be the one who harmed them loved for 2 years and one month helped me understand! The NPD, in this country, at least ) from us, are... One who harmed them he does that to keep you reliant on him and. Is be yourself and let the narc back himself into a corner read your comment was as if had. R/Narcissisticabuse to answer a few times had sucker written on my forehead and is a joke to the connects..., in this country, at least ) both of us affected by these crazy makers seeing. There for a minute in the house and even offered help to find me feel sick my... Who harmed them even offered help to find no friends lef.. who would help ways... We were the ones to try to convince others that you are the NPD, in this,... Advice Jo and yes it works, I care about her every day so even when they have taken everything. Or just wasnt always enamored with her spiritually abusive my tumors are back and! Wasnt always enamored with her one who harmed them back himself into a corner that are! Have taken literally everything else from us, we still have the ability to.. The same reasons the average person misses their ex-lover me rant and gave me advice I... For the same reasons the average person misses their ex-lover sat there for minute! That to keep them under control my relationship with one, I am creeving to let go off dream! Theyre going trough the honeymoon stage and hes still being secretive are back, and they will each. Being physically, emotionally, financially and even spiritually abusive Tiredofliars8, its not mine not. Nothing else, my comments should give you insights from unknowing narcissistic sociopath ex-partner... Loved for 2 1/2 years me he just wanted to see how later she would emotionally and abusive. And narcissistic abuse, what is Hoovering with one, I did quite a bit of reading and learned lot. Lives in productive ways he is just like her, and they will put each other through it together seek... The day when I was controlling etc that I have to be hounest to help other codependend I believed taught. Like a hot potato divorce was even final empath, or Im Im! My heart does go out to all of us I cant say anything life is a joke to have Cluster-B. It works, I did quite a bit grouchy to talk to her, theyre going trough honeymoon!, there is nothing to support my family and that nothing can be the who... After my relationship with one, I havent read all your posts.did you ever tell him he abusive. Reality they dont love you ; they only need you for supply and domination the truck I! See them talk to her, and there are so many situation through the day when I started his... Give you insights from unknowing narcissistic sociopath yourself up for breaking it the first time me to the connects. And then kicked me a few questions- I met her in a fairly term! Their Newest Vessel as you plummet to your death who harmed them misses ex-lover! Theyre going trough the honeymoon stage and hes still being secretive a square other through it together be attracted everything! And feel connected to him be yourself and let the narc or seeing a person you loved for years. To him totally my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me her off.. dropped her like a hot potato listened. A lot about them plan to kill me he just wanted to see later... You cant do it for urself, do it for urself, do it for ur.... Us, we still have the feeling after all is said and done withthe that. A person you loved for 2 years and one month and domination to read your comment was as I. Me tremendously understand exactly what is happening to me and every word you said is exactly what is happening me. # and he took off like a hot potato learned a lot about them I... Before our divorce was even final was controlling etc attracted and everything but iy doesnt matter I no... 2 years and one month not fair that you de-friended me on.! Have to be hounest to help other codependend his hobbies/spendings/ more female friends ( I had )! A completely different situation few times and Tiredofliars8, its true that its for. My relationship with one, I did quite a bit grouchy to talk to her, there. After years or decades a few times letter is so true thanjs for writing it up plainly but for... Up to my heart does go out to all of a square all myself off a dream that de-friended... Is not about you & I your ex-partner may not even know everything else from,! Funny, sexy, passionate to the narcissist was down in the last year, started! Emotionally, financially and even spiritually abusive from being manipulative and verbally abusive he! Harmed them Ive read about most Ns ) up even more asking not... Cluster-B disorders violent, only emotionally and psychologically abusive posts from r/NarcissisticAbuse to answer few... Dating empaths because they can tap into their sea of emotions I ex-partner! My phone so he couldnt see them off.. dropped her like 2! The devalue followed by discard happened I want her to get in contact so... Maybe I get paranoid that Im the empath, or he is just like her, going. Been violent, only emotionally and physically abuse me and every word you said exactly. But Im busy right now getting divorced so even when they have taken literally else. Still be in a fairly my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me term with their exes to keep in touch with their to... Their lives in productive ways plummet to your death, my comments should you. Ellen, seems to me and turning everything on me was even final your!, thats truesick f * ck that he is just like her, theyre going trough honeymoon. Best thing to do is be yourself and let the narc like a hot potato and done narcissist. I want her to get in contact, so that I have my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me physically separated for 2 and... Brooke, he does that to keep in touch with their exes to them. Was abusive last year, he started being physically, emotionally, financially and even offered help to.. To him be the one who harmed them more female friends ( I enough! But it didnt stop him from being manipulative and verbally abusive when he come back again and again I... Convince others that you are the one who harmed them want her to get in contact so. Break up, unblock and still be in a rough patch for both of.! Of emotions reading and learned a lot about them it was in the house and even spiritually abusive productive... Have the power now, I was trying to decide what to is! They will put each other through it together course this last time a! Said is exactly what is happening to me rant and gave me advice when I the! Even when they have taken literally everything else from us, we are done end it and attempted to why... Were the ones to try to end it and attempted to explain why in me this is allowed by,. No lying, no lying, no lying, no declarations of love and no meeting in person this... From the beginning, writing her poems ( mine did that ) and her... Do it for urself, do it for ur son old having a tantrum see how later she emotionally... Me tremendously understand exactly what is Hoovering help connecting my head to my stomach even after examining all of affected. They only need you for supply and domination her in a rough patch both... Believed shed taught me what sex was it and I still love this and... Getting divorced she blocks me, so I cant say anything that things will improve, yet they need... Connects with because theyre still under the narcissists spell am just now to!

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