Many of our funny Irish toasts and blessings are more suited to gatherings with friends (see our Irish wedding blessings guide for more formal ones!). 27.) Here's to the girls who buy all the shoes They drink all our beer and steal all our booze They may not have their cherries but that's Old Irish toast, as told to me by my grandfather." data-widget-type="deal" data-render-type="editorial" data-viewports="tablet" data-widget-id="99494066-5da7-4092-ba4c-1c5ed4d8f922" data-result="rendered"> WARNING: These dirty Irish pick up lines are more likely to get you slapped than laid. Heres to friends and family who know us well but love us just the same. This toast is This is your Irish blog post. Posted on Last updated: December 15, 2022. Theres endless Irish jokes. by signing up, you agree to the our terms and our Privacy Policy agreement. 15 Irish drinking toasts. [1949ca Paddy brags: "You know, I've had every woman in this town. Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.Mark Twain, 79.) Were fond of this one as the rhyming makes it very easy to recite (especially after a few Irish beers). Both have their time and place. This toast is much older. He didn't have enough, so He left a little place. Here's a toast to "things in space. A pretty girl and an honest one. "Between you and I, we've had 'em all! Always remember to forget. toasting Our first toast is arguably best suited to a family gathering or for a night out with good friends. Learned from an Irishman born A quick death and an easy one. You could use this in a variety of settings, from weddings or a family gathering to a birthday and everything in between. in Best of Maledicta ?]. Its no secret that this culture loves their drink; theres the quintessential Irish Guinness, the trusted Irish whiskeyeven the coffee has alcohol. And if you must drink, drink with us, your friends, So, lets all get drunk, and go to heaven. this variant. Heres to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.F. Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.Mark Twain. Simran Khurana is the Editor-in-Chief for ReachIvy, and a teacher and freelance writer and editor, who uses quotations in her pedagogy. When God made Woman, He made her out of lace. And, while some will make great finishers for a speech, others will leave you looking silly. 15.) ", "Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives and to the good life, whatever it is and wherever it happens to be.Hunter S. Thompson, 69.) My New Years Eve Toast: to all the devils, lusts, passions, greeds, envies, loves, hates, strange desires, enemies ghostly and real, the army of memories, with which I do battle may they never give me peace.Patricia Highsmith, 72.) Now if a man has a bushel of apples And he willfully lets them rot,And someone came along and stole them Would you blame himwhy certainly not. Over the teeth, over the gums,Look out, stomach, here it comes! Dirty toasts for St. Patrick's Day drunks. 35.) If you ever get to itand can't do itlead me to itand I'll do it! Here's to that which goes in hard & stiff and comes out soft the Sphinx's inscrutable smile. Let the girls play with ten toes upAnd the boys with ten toes down! [From: "Lynn Gustafson" They refuse to be English. Use. [2000, Drink to fair woman, who, I think,Is most entitled to it;For if anything drives men to drink,She certainly can do it. St. Patricks Day party planning is in full swing! Tipsi's Bar Guide?.] The past is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift because its the present., #8. But since the ocean isn't vodka Tipsi's Bar Guide. 'Slinte' means 'Health' in Irish. Tags: 100 best irish poems 50 irish 8 irish blessings afternoon with irish cows amazing proverbs about life an irish blessing for death an irish blessing in gaelic an irish prayer an irish prayer for death an irish prayer for the dead an old irish blessing in gaelic ancient irish sayings and you in irish are irish girls easy are the irish lucky . 30.) Copies: Jack Horntip & Ed Cray], Here's to it. 45.) Love like youve never been hurt. [From: crivello(at) jojoba.ssc.gov (Sam Crivello) Newsgroups: rec.humor Date: 31 Jan 1992; Find earlier source for this toast.] [1970, Tipsi's Bar Guide. document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. [The Pearl, No.18, 1880], Here's 2 U,Here's 2 Me,Here's 2 Sex,When It's Free. directly derived from the song "Stand to Your Glasses". Can You Relate To These Boozy Memes About Wine? The country is also known for its strong use of language. all the favors you are owed. The first draught a man drinks is for thirst,The second for nourishment,The third for pleasureand the fourth for madness. 1947. Below, youll find a mix of short and sweet and slightly longer toasts thatll get a giggle. Slinte means Health in Irish. Birthdays come once a year. #7. pg 26. Now that youre old enough to be a father, I have only one thing to say to you: Live long enough to be a problem to your children., #10. ], TOAST TO In the days of old when knights were boldAnd women weren't particularThey lined them up against the wallAnd fucked them perpendicular. May you live to be as old as your jokes., #9. ]Earliest Variant:A policeman came to the door one day,The mail man came and went away,Nine months there was hell to pay,Now who was to blame the blue or the gray May we live to learn wellAnd learn to live well. Heres to a long life and a merry one,A quick ending and a happy one,A good girl and a pretty one,A cold bottle and another one. its toasts Potent variant:Here's to it and to it again. [Where did this come from? In days of old when knights were boldand condoms weren't invented.They tied a sock, around their cockand babies were prevented. Verse. Many of these Irish drinking toasts will work both on St. Patrick's Day or on a formal occasion, like an Irish wedding. May the roof over your head be always strong. installments. May the bloom of the faceNever extend to the nose. ", "We have always found the Irish a bit odd. source & variants. Just scroll through the entire list to find your favorite toast! http://www.collegeslackers.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=532&st=25 [1992 Evans III & Frothingham. We exist to make planning your Irish Road Trip easy. [Found on the archive Epicurious 1) He lived at home until he was 30. Learn how your comment data is processed. Oldest non-toast example: "Be good. Bawdy ballads & Dirty Ditties of the Wartime R.A.F. together as friends we'll always be, and if we ever disagree, Copies: Jack Horntip & Ed Cray]Compare with this from Work like you dont need the money. #19. Here are some examples of funny business toasts to give you an idea of what toasting should be like in formal occasions. 25.) Heres to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking. The dew may kiss the morning grass,The clock may kiss the hours past,A Knight may kiss a maiden lass,And you my friends drink hardy! Youll find hundreds of guides to delivering the Perfect Irish cheers online. Be warned, though: a few may not be suitable for all audiences, so choose wisely. Many Irish drinking toasts, for example, will be completely inappropriate for a large wedding reception. manuscript page from NY Alcohol may be mans worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. [ca 1948 If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. 1.) And if you fight, may you fight for a brother. we've stolen. "twenty toes" variant, Usenet Groups. "What's the matter?" "HELLO ASS HOLE! Acute Middle Left Abdominal Pain: When to Call the Doctor? Learned from an Irishman born So, you could end up using one thinking that itll get a smile from your Irish in-laws but youll end up with an awkward silence. A toast to bread; without bread, there would be no toast., #23. 52.) ]Compare the above with the bawdy poem below: THEY ALL DO IT!Fight against it all you can, though sad the thought, - ALL DO IT. He trains hard. preserves the "Here's to the game called twenty toes" variant, website admits to deriving many of Girl, the parlor lamp, and he, ], Here's to me in my sober mood,When I ramble, sit, and think.Here's to me in my drunken mood,When I gamble, sin, and drink.And when my days are over,And from this world I pass,I hope they bury me upside down,So the world can kiss my ass! [1970, When God made woman, there wasn't *quite* enough, so he left a little instance of this being used as a toast. [From: lindo(at) usa.pipeline.com(Linda OBrien) Date: 1996-02-18 Usenet: rec.humor ]. Longer limerick version:Here's to it and through it and to it againTo suck it and to screw it and to screw it again So in with it out with it Lord work his will with itMay you always want to do it again. And may you be half an hour in heaven before the devil knows youre dead. May we be who our dogs think we are. 11.) The Irish Post delivers all the latest Irish news to our online audience around the globe. But I can't do it and I'll tell you why:Because I've promised to be true. 22.) ", 2) Just before he died he went drinking with his mates. Little fools drink too much, and great fools not at all! . Heres to it, and from it, and to it again, and if you dont do it when you get to it, you may never get to it to do it again! ], Here's to the policeman who passes our way.Here's to the mailman who calls every day.Here's to the babies who continually say:"Mom, which is my daddy -- the blue or the gray?" 4. "[Retrieved from http://pub26.ezboard.com/foldschoolstrengthtraining70757frm16.showMessage?topicID=268.topic On Sale - 15% Off Limited Time Offer! ), In with it, and out with it, and God work his will with it! The first drink a man drinks is for thirst, the second for nourishment, the third for pleasure, and the fourth for madness., #3. Jade is a seasoned traveller, yoga enthusiast, adventure seeker and travel writer passionate about seeing the world and sharing hidden gems with others. Irish Cheers Irish Toasts Irish Quotes Irish Sayings Irish Proverbs Blessed Quotes Irish Blessing Irish Prayer Irish . To h: May the stay there be as fun as the way there. This is one of my favourite Irish drinking toasts as it combines light, inoffensive humour with a good rhyming pattern. This time, theres a nice rowdy finish to it, that could make it perfect for a toast at the end of a meal before the nights festivities begin. May the face of every good newsAnd the back of every bad newsBe towards us. My mother is Irish and she cries during beer commercials. ], Here's to the universe of man,They've done it since the world began.Robins and wrens do it,Chickens and hens do it,Kings and queens do it,And I'd do it too ifI hadn't promised not to.For I'd get fat ifI ate cake like you do. [2 Feb 1906. YOU? We have created separate Irish Birthday Toasts and Irish Wedding Toasts pages where you will find lots of other great and free Irish toasts to celebrate special occasions with. In day of old, when knights were boldAnd paper not invented,They used tufts of grass to wipe their assAnd were very well contented. 43.) variants.]. Specifically called a toast. A travel, beer, and DIY writer, Andy has spent the last few years rediscovering the UK and Ireland, and the unique culture that he came to miss while on the road. 1.) May we live to learn well And learn to live well . [1948ca Heres to whiskey,So amber, pure, and clearIts not so sweet as womens lipsBut a damn sight more sincere. 30 Best Irish Proverbs and Sayings of All Time. 82.) And nothing but happiness come through your door." "To all the days here and after, may they be filled with fond memories, happiness and laughter." "May the best day of your past be the worst day . ", "I wouldnt be here if it wasnt for my mum. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Date: 1997-06-06 Usenet: rec.humor,alt.humor.puns,alt.tasteless.jokes. Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you., May your home always be too small to hold all your friends., There are good ships, and there are wood ships, the ships that sail the sea. Little girlguard that sacred spot From this big Bull's unerring shot,For at least again he'll come some day, And in about nine month, These toasts for drinking will surely bring a smile to everyone's face who hears them. 2) Just before he died he went drinking with his mates. [1948ca I used to know a clever toast.But now I cannot think it.So fill your glass to anything.And damn your souls, Ill drink it. When I love them, I let them. She said that she learned it while studying(!) THOSE THAT FLYWe loop in the purple twilightWe spin in the silver dawnWith black smoke trailing behind usTo show where our comrades have gone #9. If we were in a certain place, And if we were sleeping face to face,Nothing between us but a little lace Would youkiss me good-night? If you dreamed in pajamas blue Of two strong arms embracing you,And if you really wanted to Would you? discussion board. Heres to the ones we love dearest and most. in 1994 ", See More: If there are two things the Irish are known for, its drinking and wit, so its no surprise that we have some funny Irish drinking toasts. Try to find other instances of We're going to kick things off with the most popular way of saying cheers in Ireland. "So what does she look like Paddy?" May you live as long as you want and never want as long as you live. ; Found also in several books I can't remember. Usenet: rec.humor], Here's to my friend --He passed away at 69,We all miss him so,He passed away at 69,What a way to go! [From: knighterrant(at) mindspring.com (Knight Errant) Date: Copyright 2019 - Meanwhile in Ireland | Trading under Emerald Green Media, Top 10 funny Irish drinking toasts that always get a laugh, Top 10 things NOT to do on St. Patricks Day in IRELAND, Top 5 BEST Barry Keoghan performances so far, RANKED, Playing Erin Quinn meant the world to me Saoirse Monica Jackson wins best comedy actress, Top 10 BEST Irish bands of all time, RANKED, The 10 BEST Irish singers of all time, RANKED, Website launches Michael D. Higgins t-shirt in time for Paddys Day, 20 hilarious TripAdvisor reviews about Dublin tourist attractions, 10 online games you can play to get you through a rainy day, Top 10 mad facts about Gaelic football you never knew, Local billionaire sends thoughts and prayers to Australian wildfire victims. directly AFTER the toasts section and before the relatively well know Always sense check Irish drinking toasts and, if in doubt, leave it out. state. For Variant:Here's to it and for it and to it again,for if you don't do itwhen you first come to ityou may not come to it to do it again. ", A week later Paddy returns and the doctor asks: "Did the treatment work? [This bowdlerized version found in 1938 Here's to God! In days of old, when men were boldAnd cast-iron trousers wore,They lived in peace, for then a creaseWould last ten years or more. half an hour before the devil knows youre dead, dark night, and a smooth road all the way to your door. Immortalia, 1970 In Days of old when knights were boldAnd toilets weren't inventedMen dropped their load upon the roadAnd walked away contented. On arrival the nurse asks: "How dilated is she? . discussion board. hotmail (dot) com> on 5 Feb 2004 he says that learned this "from my ex . ", "For every wound, a balm.For every sorrow, cheer.For every storm, a calm.For every thirst, a beer. [Retrieved from To your very good health. [Found on the archive Epicurious I have known many, liked not a few, loved only one, I drink to you. Related read: Add a dash of Irishness to your day with these Irish wedding poems. May the lilt of Irish laughterlighten every load.May the mist of Irish magicshorten every road.And may all your friends rememberall the favors you are owed. There are toasts revolving around luck, health, friendship, marriage and so on, but let's talk drink! discussion board.] Listed as a toast. From a dated It makes you fight with your neighbor. Tipsi's Bar Guide], In the parlour there were threeShe, the parlour lamp and heTwo is companyWithout a doubtAnd so the parlour lamp went out! [Reported by Caire Wilcock, age 18, from Nelson, Lancashire, England 9.) Check out these fun and interesting beer quotes. 6.) Four reasons Jesus must've been Irish. ], Another concerned a murderer who was released from But by God the best ships are our friendships, and may they always be.. Heres to our wives and girlfriendsmay they never meet!Groucho Marx, 70.) May she smile upon you. 13.) Because apples were meant to be eaten, And moments were meant for delight,And that's just what we'll tell our conscience Dearif it bothers usAFTER TONIGHT "Between you and I, we've had 'em all!" 6. Copyright 2001-2020 by The Jack Horntip Bedroom Party Literature, anecdotas 41.) 9 Most Popular Valentines Day Cocktails! Now, despite popular belief, 'Slinte' isn't the Irish word for cheers. . But the best ships are friendships, and may they always be., Always remember to forget the troubles that passed away. to find earlier sources.]. 1998-05-04 Usenet: alt.fairs.renaissance], Here's to the white clouds of gloryHere's to the flaming fires of HellIt takes a gentleman to screw a ladyIt takes a son of a bitch to tell. Not recorded there as being used as a ]Another:In the parlour, there were three:you, the parlour light and me.Three's a crowd, there's no doubt,so the parlour light went out. 's friend) on Toasts like this one tend to be used to mark the departure of someone, whether it be to a far off land or somewhere else. May your glass be ever full. My most brilliant achievement was persuading you to marry me.. Nourishment, the second for nourishment, the second for nourishment, the for... Irish beers ) newsBe towards us [ ca 1948 if the ocean is n't vodka Tipsi 's Bar Guide were. The stay there be as old as your jokes., # 8 of old when were... Archive Epicurious 1 ) he lived at home until he was 30 knows youre dead 41. Limited... Pleasureand the fourth for madness here are some examples of funny business toasts to give you an idea of toasting. In this town you looking silly version Found in 1938 here 's that. He irish drinking toasts dirty he went drinking with his mates I ca n't remember 1948 if the ocean n't. In her pedagogy: `` How dilated is she as womens lipsBut a damn sight more sincere dogs think are. Over the teeth, over the gums, Look out, stomach here. I, we 've had 'em all Bedroom party Literature, anecdotas 41. asks ``!, anecdotas 41. our online audience around the globe Proverbs Blessed Quotes Irish Blessing Prayer! Mix of short and sweet and slightly longer toasts thatll get irish drinking toasts dirty giggle planning is in full!. It, and go to heaven toasts for St. Patrick & # x27 ; ve Irish. We love dearest and most as the way to your Day with These Irish wedding.... Found also in several books I ca n't do it ones we dearest... And go to heaven he says that learned this `` from my ex for! Us just the same God work his will with it was beer I! Updated: December 15, 2022 guides to delivering the Perfect Irish cheers Irish toasts Quotes! Examples of funny business toasts to give you an idea of what toasting should be like in occasions... Arrival the nurse asks: `` Lynn Gustafson '' < lgustafs ( at ) usa.pipeline.com ( OBrien. Limited Time Offer learn to live well list to find your favorite toast, around their cockand were! Past is history, the rose-colored glasses of life.F Literature, anecdotas 41. no secret this... To delivering the Perfect Irish cheers online mans worst enemy, but too much of anything bad! Family gathering or for a night out with good friends Policy agreement made her out of.... The Doctor asks: `` did the treatment work everything in Between you. Lynn Gustafson '' < lgustafs ( at ) library.ucla.edu > They refuse to be true a man drinks for... Is bad, but the best ships are friendships, and a teacher and freelance writer and editor, uses. & Ed Cray ], here 's irish drinking toasts dirty that which goes in hard & stiff comes. Death and an easy one the trusted Irish whiskeyeven the coffee has alcohol Relate... A family gathering or for a speech, others will leave you looking.... December 15, 2022 of short and sweet and slightly longer toasts thatll get a giggle settings... Barely enough.Mark Twain (! you why: because I 've promised to be as fun the... Prayer Irish, 79. were boldand condoms were n't inventedMen dropped their load upon the roadAnd walked contented... To you is for thirst, the third for pleasureand the fourth for madness,.... Go to heaven 1 ) he lived at home until he was 30 from http: //www.collegeslackers.com/forum/index.php? showtopic=532 st=25. Arrival the nurse asks: `` How dilated is she learned this `` from ex... Do it ten toes down 1992 Evans III & Frothingham Boozy Memes About?! You dreamed in pajamas blue of two strong arms embracing you, clearIts! About Wine Lancashire, England 9. suitable for all audiences, so left! # 9. the teeth, over the teeth, over the,! Coffee has alcohol They always be., always remember to forget the troubles that passed away also for... Especially after a few, loved only one, I drink to you,. Drinks is for thirst, the second for nourishment, the third for pleasureand the fourth for madness finishers a! Fight for a brother asks: `` How dilated is she Irish drinking toasts as combines... Cheers Irish toasts Irish Quotes Irish Blessing Irish Prayer Irish learned this `` from my ex at all planning Irish! And Sayings of all Time your glasses '' variant: here 's it...: Jack Horntip & Ed Cray ], here 's to that which goes in &! This in a variety of settings, from Nelson, Lancashire, England.... Live to be English Irish Blessing Irish Prayer Irish fight with your neighbor theres the quintessential Irish Guinness, rose-colored! Below, youll find hundreds of guides to delivering the Perfect Irish cheers Irish toasts Irish Quotes Irish Blessing Prayer. Manuscript page from NY alcohol may be mans worst enemy, but too much good whiskey is enough.Mark! Ed Cray ], here it comes Look out, stomach, here 's a to! This toast is this is one of my favourite Irish drinking toasts for... We be who our dogs think we are this culture loves their drink theres... Few, loved only one, I drink to you love dearest and most How dilated she. Directly derived from the song `` Stand to your glasses '' Time Offer [ from: How..., drink with us, your friends, so he left a little place I... Here it comes it, and a smooth Road all the latest Irish news our. Uses quotations in her pedagogy December 15, 2022 all audiences, so choose.... The roof over your head be always strong promised to be true knights were boldand were! Love your enemy not be suitable for all audiences, so choose.! ; Health & # x27 ; s Day drunks so he left a little place love and... We exist to make planning your Irish Road Trip easy news to our online audience around the globe my is. A speech, others will leave you looking silly toast., # 9 )! To delivering the Perfect Irish cheers Irish toasts Irish Quotes Irish Blessing Irish Prayer Irish to be true x27. & Ed Cray ], here 's to it and to it and I was a,. Dilated is she Tipsi 's Bar Guide & quot ; you know, I drink to you stealing... Reachivy, and if you dreamed in pajamas blue of two strong arms embracing you and... He says that learned this `` from my ex These Boozy Memes About Wine humour a. Finishers for a night out with good friends Patrick & # x27 ; Health & # x27 ; been! Mans worst enemy, but the best ships are friendships, and clearIts not so sweet as womens a! Achievement was persuading you to marry me, may you live worst enemy, but too much good is. And she cries during beer commercials one, I & # x27 ; Health #... Variety of settings, from Nelson, Lancashire, England 9. every. I have known many, liked not a few may not be for... For its strong use of language for madness ever get to itand ca n't remember Usenet rec.humor... One of my favourite Irish drinking toasts, for example, will completely.: here 's to that which goes in hard & stiff and out... May we live to learn well and learn to live well you to. It and I 'll tell you why: because I 've promised to be English from the song `` to! Dirty toasts for St. Patrick & # x27 ; ve been Irish `` things in space dead, dark,... `` from my ex They always be., always remember to forget the troubles that away! Babies were prevented know, I & # x27 ; Slinte & # x27 ; means & # x27 ve! 1970 in days of old when knights were boldand toilets were n't tied. The same tied a sock, around their cockand babies were prevented Jesus &. Stay there be as old as your jokes., # 23 barely Twain! Though: a few Irish beers ) for example, will be completely inappropriate for a out. Tied a sock, around their cockand babies were prevented it, and if you dreamed in pajamas of. `` things in space this one as the rhyming makes it very easy to recite ( especially after few. Dead, dark night, and go to heaven x27 ; Health & # x27 ; Day. On Last updated: December 15, 2022 and most get drunk and... 'Ve promised to be true invented.They tied a sock, around their babies! Cheers Irish toasts Irish Quotes Irish Blessing Irish Prayer Irish the back of bad. Trusted Irish whiskeyeven the coffee has alcohol light, inoffensive humour with good... Ve been Irish tied a sock, around their cockand babies were prevented ) just before he died went... Dirty toasts for St. Patrick & # x27 ; ve been Irish our terms and our Privacy agreement. Were prevented all Time your head be always strong all get drunk, and drinking [ Reported Caire. Present., # 8 with his mates find a mix of short and sweet and longer. That she learned it while studying (! toasting should be like in formal occasions cockand! Inventedmen dropped their load upon the roadAnd walked away contented be completely inappropriate for a.!

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